Sometimes I really amazed howcome in India it is still prevalent that parents decide to whom you would marry and to whom not.
I am not fussing about this but it is still here and we are so helpless that we can not do anything but constrained to marry according to them. It’s really disgusting. Yesterday I visited to the marriage party of one of my friend who earlier approached me to get marry with a girl in court. When I talked to him he was not happy and told me that I was determined to marry the girl to whom I love but it’s my mother who blackmailed me emotionally and warned me if I would refuse she would commit suicide. What a freak? Is this their love then we don’t need that kind of love which is thinks that only they can decide better.
Take one more case where one of my friends was forced to marry a girl when he was at the verge of building his carrier on the ground of that his grand-mother is going to die and it is her will to see you marry before she leave for god. What a foolish thing that he was not allowed to build his carrier and even after his marriage he was told to provide them a child at a time when he was not ready for the child and not even able to feed himself and his wife at his own. And more ridiculous thing is that his grand-mother is still alive and there is no possibility of her dieing for at least three or four years.
When I here this kind of story I don’t surprise as the same is the tragedy of me. In my case when my in-laws invited us to have a look at the girl to whom I am supposed to marry, I sent my sister and jija ji as I was having faith in them that they would provide me with true picture and position but I am shocked to know that my sister has betrayed me by putting before me that she is very beautiful and sweet whereas she is not. I believed them and said yes for the marriage. When I personally saw her with my mother, I as well as my mother refused them. But story doesn’t end here. Infact tragedy starts from here. For some time my mother stood with my decision but my father was against this. He advanced the reason that we belong to a very small caste and we won’t find a girl like this and even if we would find she won’t belong to good family which has good status like us. Gradually my mother was also taken in confidence by my father and she started pressurizing me emotionally to marry her. I was not allowed to take a rest everytime they saw me they started asking me,” what you decided?”. And I was so mentally agonized I finally compromised with my dreams and asked my dreams to go away with a promise that I would live my dreams in next birth and said yes to marriage. What a strange and helpless thing that one is not allowed to marry with whom he/she likes but to whom our parents think. It is not like that I cannot outbreak all this but somewhere down the lane of my heart I feel that what is the fault of that girl and if I would refuse again at a time when one year has passed and we are about to marry, who would marry her as it is very difficult in Indian society.
My heart is constantly in struggle with the idea whether I should marry her or not but my emotions sometimes overpower my reasoning and I repent my decision and curse my parents…….and think is it what I ever dreamt of???????
This thing should change and our parents should learn and understand this that it is our life and they should allow us to take our decision at ourown and not to blackmail us emotionally. Otherwise can any one expect this kind of relation to exist for last long? This kind of relation would lead us to hell. Now as it has happened I hope and try my best to cope up with this relation wisely and proactively. But I still believe that what ever is happening middle or lower middle Indian society should change…. Till then let’s hope for the best.
“ KABHI TO SHUBAH HOGI
KABHI TO MAUSAM BADLEGNE
KABHI TO HUM ISS BANDHAN SE MUKT HONGE
KABHI TO HUMARE HATHE ME HAMARE
FAISLE LENE KE POWER HOGI…..”